The Collective

Terror in our lives.

2008-11-27T01:54:00.000-08:00

26th November 2008. Bombay, Mumbai, the financial capital of India, has been attacked.

In the next few days, the details will be discussed and analyzed, the attacks condemned, promises will be made. condolences, well written and spoken ones, will be circulated. Flowers will be sent, candles will be lit. A nation will mourn. The whole world will pause for a fleeting moment, will stand by in silence. Continued silence and then.. then we move on.. ?

There has been indifference within us, to the terror attacks in India. Why would not we be ? The dead do not linger, but horrors of the events live on tv ? They will haunt us. Technology has moved us. Grief towards the dead has been replaced by anger towards those who suffer. 8000 miles away, it is worrying. Anything closer.. not imaginable.

A total structural collapse of our system. A System, never held accountable for the lapses, mistakes, blunders and disasters. The anger should be sustained, Questions should be asked, the system be held accountable and the structure rebuilt. It will take a while, it needs the young, the fresh and the untainted. Not preaching here.. Well not preaching much anyway. Just some instinctive thoughts..

It is being talked about as India's 9/11. What followed in US is known. Hope that the anger does not turn into paranoia..

Stay Beautiful.

2007-08-24T08:52:00.000-07:00

A hoarding of a very “popular” newspaper in Andhra Pradesh reads ‘News Made Exciting.’ It’s like asking you… How do you like your eggs? with tomatoes or pepperoni. Actually, you do not have a choice. They’re serving you their choice of spicy breakfast. I don’t want my news to be spiced up. I want my facts to come straight to me. Let me decide if it’s exciting enough.

A 16 year old Adnan Patrawala was kidnapped and killed. A popular news channel talking about the case said “Investigation has revealed that the murderers who were BPO employees had befriended Adnan even before he started to speak to the profile by the name “Angel” on Orkut. Now…. for a special focus on Orkut…. Should Orkut be banned?” WTF! The same reporter who suggested that the murder was planned in the real world as opposed to the virtual is now wondering if Orkut should be banned! A result of that wondering? – “yes, of course! Internet is full of scum, it should be banned.”

And the worst part is, this guy who made this easy decision for us doesn’t know s*** about how the internet works. That there are internet ethics and etiquette that internet users have globally set. I didn’t see him (or any other news channel for that matter) asking questions like..

a) If the profile “Angel” was fake, why is he/she/they still on Orkut pleading innocence? Wouldn’t “they” be scrambling to clear all evidence leading upto them?
b) Is it right to blame the social network revolution itself because a victim happened to have a virtual profile?
c) What can be done inside the purview of the Indian IT act to provide protection to an Indian internet user?
c) Why in the hell was a 16 yr old driving a car???

News channels are still showing flashes of the profile pages of the victim and the “charged.” Will an average paranoid Indian parent now be cool with his/her accessing Orkut? Guess not.

We don’t have the time to know the facts let alone coming up with solutions. So, we let media fill up our brains with biased opinions and lopsided arguments. We are all better off listening to a bearded guy sitting intelligently behind a desk with a laptop in front of him, telling us we should lose all this technology and going back to stone age.

The actual question is – are we letting media make up our minds for us? I’m not asking you to buy my argument. I’m asking you to think about it.

“If Barkha says so… it must be right. Yep! I’ll buy her opinion.... since, I don’t have my own”

Discrimination.

2007-02-21T10:48:00.000-08:00

I have wanted to write about this topic for such a long time. And after seeing what priya had written , About racism in India, I thought there would not be much that I could add to it, But I think I might. And here it goes.

I would like to begin with the comment I have made on his post. "humans by nature ,discriminate. we group similar things,we divide dissimilar things. we don't even realize that we are doing that. if it ends there then we would be a much more intelligent society"

Yes, if it ends there we would be a much more intelligent society. What this basic instinct , to categorize everything around us, becomes is very interesting. It begins out as a simple distinction, (self) recognition. The concept of I (or ME. Which basically sets us humans apart from most of the animals) invariantly develops into , someone like me. And then perhaps mutates into the concept of US, and eventually the concept someone UNLIKE US.

And I guess there is also another instinct in us , which rejects anything different from the regular. And combine this with the concept of us and them, we now have a scenario where people begin to reject (and perhaps hate ?) the dissimilarities between them; Sowing seeds for the Discrimination as we know it.

Discrimination.

Probably a word associated mostly with the west. Where, racial discrimination is most evident. More evident probably because of sheer variety of the people living together. Yes there are people who foul mouth anyone who is not white. Some wish they were dead. Some, willing to do that(kill) themselves. But the topic of discrimination in the west has been discussed lots of times and probably read by millions of people dozens of times in their life. I just want to point out something that is evident in India, but never talked about.

India, as a country is truly great. A cultural melting pot of a billion people belonging to many different religions, different cultures, different languages, traditions and geographical locations. We have lived in reasonable harmony for 60 years (since our freedom in 1947). But what about Indians, as the people of the great country that is India ? I believe we are probably the most racist (using it for a lack of a better word, I want to say discriminists but the spell check says there is no word like that) people in the world.

Discrimination probably starts back at home for some, when a male child is preferred to a female one. (and in some rare cases , the other way round.) It continues at school where teachers with narrowed view of education prefer students who fit that profile. It continues to be visible at the village (perhaps lesser in the cities) where the caste of a fellow man interferes with both the simplest routines and also the most personal issues in his life. It is probably more evident in the case of religion, where people fight and kill each other for something that might or might not be true.It is probably masked at the national level where politicians are epitomes for regionalism.

It goes unnoticed when we (Indians) criticize the people of different countries, without even knowing or even caring for the facts. But when there is one comment made against us , we unite. We unite to fight against the evil that has been spoken up against us. Make the whole world know that you don't mess with us Indians, Because we stand united. And mess with one of us, You mess with us all. That may be the right message.

But what would happen if someone came up with a video where some guys makes a statement saying that "all American women are sluts" or "woh kallu log sab chor hote hain" . perhaps a comment about one of our own. degrading a particular religion or caste. Or someone from North India asking someone from south (or a madrasi as he would call him) to go and eat his idli sambhar. or even someone from south India calling a dude from the north a stubborn pig?. Would that matter ? or should the question be, would you notice it in the first place ?

whats my point ? my point is "Discrimination is everywhere. Yes even in your backyard. So don't be fucking Hypocritical about it."

The answer to end discrimination is not clear. But what is clear is that it exists everywhere. Yes even in our holy nation of India. So the next time when someone make a scathing remark about our beautiful country , learn tolerance towards unreasonable criticism; Because facts do not change because of words, And if you are not tolerant , then probably you are more intolerant towards something more close to home. Shut up before you are called a Hypocrite. As being labeled a hypocrite is far worse than being called a discriminator. Learn to live with it.

If you find that offending, then please tell me, When you have learned to live with discrimination back home(and in all probability affects you), why can't you learn to live with the same thing that is happening thousands of kilometers away (and probably doesn't affect you) ?

If you cant stand either one, then in all probability you are one among a very few number of people. Live to know that you will be lonely for the remainder of your life. But live knowing that you are doing the right thing.

Unity is strength.
But uniting for something unnecessary is foolish.
Not uniting for something necessary is definitely a weakness.

So choose to be weak or foolish. Its up to you.

p.s. : Sorry for the nonsense in patches. I had to take a break for so many times while writing it. After all criticizing ones own country is not a easy thing to do. But I have tried my best to make sense. Sorry once again if there is any loss of continuity in the post.

Indians....Who we really are?

2007-02-03T11:59:00.001-08:00

It never stops,it was always there in them and now it has once again come out openly...thanks to Big Brother.Jade Goody proved us that this feeling of racial discrimination is inherent in the minds of the so called "fair-skinned" people.The whole world has responded to the words "live in slums","paki","the indian" and some other words which are not published in the media "f..king loser" and "f..k off home" by Jade "Baddy",Jack Tweed and others.

Jade was taught a lesson and an enormous support erupted for Shilpa Shetty from all over the world.People back in India are so much moved that they staged dharnas and sent sms' to news channels in support when they just saw one Indian sob in her closet aftr being victimised to racial discrimination.Tell me

~How many of us really care for those who have been the victims of discrimination on our own home soil??

~None of us.

We "maintain the discrimination"(not specifically racial) to every stranger.Stranger here i mean ecxepting family,closest frnds n the people belonging to our CASTE.After watching Shilpa cry and so much care we gave for her i realised y r we not same Indians when it came to the millions of people who cry in their homes almost everyday because they've been discriminated on the basis of caste or class or watever shit.

Everybody discriminates evrybody if he/she doesnt belong to their own caste,class or community.Hindus discriminate muslims,jains discriminate buddists,the so-called upper caste people discriminate the so-called lower caste people of SCs,STs,BCs and dalits.Vice-Versa.High-class people descriminate middle- and low-class people and vice-versa.Indians have become hyper-ethocentric and xenophobic.Rather CASTO-CENTRIC and CLASSO-CENTRIC.The whole dimension of division of people on the basis of caste has been changed since it has started.Now the word caste in India mean discrimination.The word reminds us of discrimination n nothin else.

The caste point is from a broader perspective.Forget all the dimensions and walk into our daily lives.We talk about love,care,help,sympathy n all but do we really do wat we say?
Absolutely not.How many of us have had evil eyes to a beggar who left his self-respect on the side of the road n stretched his arms for a penny? 90% of us wud have done that.Is he/she not a human just lik u n me.Well if u think his dejected social status is the only reason for that then damn u dont dare speak about love,care n all things which are insensible to u.I heard people saying "chi po" (get off!) and "vadni chudu adukkunevadu jeans veskunnadu" (look at him,being a beggar he wore a jean pant) and many more....Y a beggar shud not prosper?? Y do u not feel happy to see that the beggar is developing n prospering.Learn to treat people lik people n not lik animals.Beggars r the most common ground where we show wat we really r.From beggars to our collegues at work to our neighbours with whom we live we show discrimination.If you ask me who we(Indians) really are i wud say we r the most racist people on earth.We racially discriminate each n every person.

We call ourselves a united billion with multiethnicity,multilingual n multireligious groups.But how united r we truly?? The next time u call united india just think again.We r united certainly only wen other countries talk bad abt us n we all r fevicol-united during India-Pakistan cricket matches.Every Indian does the same thing to their fellow Indians wat Jade Goody has done to Shilpa Shetty no doubt abt that.The only one who does the perfect thing is an ideal person and no person in this world is ideal.IDEALISM IS MYTH.But 1 thing is for sure.We can bend towards idealism to a great extent.Lets try to be human n more humane and live up to the phrase of "United India".

Fuck Sanctity

2006-11-02T12:22:00.000-08:00

Yes, that is what i have been thinking all day. and that is how i shall start this blog of mine.

Fuck it.

and most of the people who know me, also know me to be non religious, hence you can guess it is not about the sanctity of religion i am talking about, but the purity and the holiness of that which is supposed to be our conscience.

i know people arent perfect always , but our conscience ? isnt it supposed to be perfect, the all knowing angel present inside all of us?? well that is what it is supposed to do , ie remind us of the do's and do nots of what is demanded of the society.

the sanctity that i am speaking of here, is the purity and the holiness of what is supposed to be our human soul.

but how many of us really do have it ?
how many of those reading really give a damn about a street begger with no hands or legs ??
how many of you are really ready to give up your life for a loved one, i mean really ??
how many of you really feel no guilt when you have lied to someone you really love ??
how many actually have feelings for someone that you are not supposed to have ??
how many of us have actually seen a person of the opposite gender and thought , i want to have him / her right here , right now??
how many of us havent had the urge to just snap the neck of the blabbering idiot?
how many actually ever felt your conscience taking over your animal instincts!
how many many of you really agree with what i say , but are not going to say "I actually care" for all of the things i mentioned.
i am too bored , tired , irritated to come up with more examples.

i mean when we are living with this kind of hypocracy in this fucked up world, knowing about it all the time , then why the hell are we still acting!

i mean , with or without conscience , we are not animals. we still behave civilly. we are not going to go killing each and every person just because we enjoy it. we are not going to rape each and every woman just because she is helpless. we are not going to go out and and cheat each and every idiot out there just because they are gullable. we do not because we have better deterrants than our conscience controlling us. which ofcourse is fear.

fear of being known as the criminal who killed a man.
fear of being called a dick who raped a woman
fear of being labelled a jerk who only lives to cheat.

so do i relate to those people who do not possess this fear within themselves ??
hell no! i believe this fear is what makes us human.
and those who do not possess it should be treated as animals and be caged and shipped of to a zoo.

fear, that is what drives us these days not the god damned conscience.
even if there is a a conscience, it is not asking us to do the right thing ,
it is asking us to shut the fuck up and not be an idiot by doing the wrong thing.
but assured with the chance of getting away with it , who knows , how many savages would be running amuck in this world.

so , people who agree with me , please say fuck you to someone who says that the human soul is pure. and when they say nothing matches its sanctity, say fuck sanctity too.

p.s. : yeah, i am in a really bad mood, so what, i am ok with what i have said. am ready to argue for any of the statements i have made so far.

Men V/s Women : Part II

2006-10-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

well people
i am back to it again. no matter how much i talk and believe in equality, by coincidence or by fate (whatever you believe in), i end up defending men as equal to women most of the times rather than the other way round.

i.e. i have met far too many feminists (not equalists mind you, females who think that they are better than men!! in every way) than male chauvinists. makes me wonder if i am in the wrong company or is the whole world this way!

not to long ago i was chatting (yes me a geek) with a friend of mine.(this convo ended about 15 mins ago). she believes , like many other women (or girls if you prefer) believe that they are more evolved mentally than men. and thats when the debate (not a fight mind you) started off (never ended though).

so the question is "Are women more developed mentally than men by the age of say 21".
her answer : yes, girls are better mentally than men.
my answer : depends on what you look at. yes girls are better than men , emotionally n intellectually. (now i regret saying intellectually because, knowledge of science can also be intellect at which , statistically men are better at).

and this is what i want to say which i couldnt earlier. (I love blogging, talking my way through with no-one stopping me :D!).

Yes, girls may be better than us guys when it comes to being emotionally strong (remember not crying isnt being emotionally strong.) they may also be better at handling new situations in a better way than men. and yes this gap is more evident in the early 20's. but this (Gap) does go down as we grow up , learn to handle situations that we havent faced earlier. it is just a life taking its time.

My reason for girls developing faster , emotionally , was simple. they are made to grow up in an environment which tells and treats them as unequals. this means that they are made to prove a point right from childhood. face more challenges than most men do before they turn 20 or think of going on their own. once they (us men) do decide to move on and be independent, the challenges are meaner and the realisation is no sweeter. n the process of development is no easier, hence the final product is no lesser.

But then she makes this statement "when someone keeps telling you that you are a worthless piece of shit all your life, you end up thinking that you are. but women didnt".

this is when i realised that , upto this point we are only talking about women who choose and strive to be independent. there are also those who do not. and those who do think that women are helpless without men (thankfully this trend is changing for the better by the generation). but what she wont agree was that there exist two kinds of people. that there might still be some who have given up while they are brainwashed from the childhood. which i believe isnt true. (and any comments on that are welcomed :D ).

well , like earlier i still do want to make a statement of comprimise.
yes women are mentally strong in the emotional department. that doesnt mean that they are better than men, it only means that they are different as far as this aspect goes. but men, i belive are more independent thinkers ,some of whom are even philosophical. and best thing is you can not generalise how all men think (you might generalise what we think about, but not how! thats what i mena by independent thinking).

so choose what part of your brain you love.
if it is the part which is responsible for emotion, chances are that you are a woman. (if you are a guy, say yes to the next one too ;) )
if it is the part that makes you to be wild, independent (may seem irresponsible at times) and free thinking , then probably you are a guy (and if you are a girl, well done! :) )

both of which are parts of the brain by the way, hence both are mental abilities.

Full Circle

2006-06-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

We need to Change.
How?
No Clue , But we need to change.

I hope everyone else, or atleast the majority feels the same.
Feels the same about a situation, a situation that is so horribly out of hand that there is no hope.

This is what I mean , when I talk about "a situation that is so horribly out of hand that there is no hope"

lemme start about the most obvious problem in india : Population.
To handle the humongous population that we have, we need better Infrastructure.
For better Infrastructure , we need officials who arent corrupt, but honest and hard working.
For removing the corrupt officials, we need a better police system.
We dont have a better police system, because that wud mean the end of corrupt politicians.
we have corrupt politicians because we have a lot of uneducated population that falls for every small promise the politicians make.
So, for better polity, we need more educated population.
we cant have that without a good enough infrastructure!
un-educated people do not know / care about the rest of india.
one of the side effects : rising population.
there you go, a full circle!!

p.s. :- all the other problems can be embedded into this circle too , just didnt have the time or space to do it right here.. so just talked about the problems most often discussed..

And there you go. a situation completely horribly out of our hand. None of the problems can be solved exclusively. None of them can be left alone to be dealt another day. None of them have a plausable solution. All of them moving us closer to a disaster.

But we move on with our lives, and believe that the problem will be dealt by someone else.
It works sometimes, like once in a century when a true leader is born to guide the rest in the right direction, and we the followers are more than happy to comply. And then it starts all over again.

But how can u revive something thats bound to be a disaster.

well my answer, just think forward.
forget the problem that u have with the system,
focus on the original problem itself.

try to find a solution that
doesnt involve officials to improve infrastructure
doesnt involve politicians for better polity
doesnt involve infrastructure for better education
doesnt involve better education for better understanding of our country
doesnt involve politicians handling our police
doesnt involve policing of everything thats right
doesnt involve the present fucked up system , to change for the better!!

It may be hard work, but that is what should be done, I guess, when you see no hope in redeeming the present solution at hand.

I do not have one yet, but given the time and resources I think any one who is moderately intelligent can think of one.

So lets just hope against hope..

True Love??!!

2006-05-09T12:24:00.000-07:00

This is what urban dictionary has to say about true love
This is what i liked best,
True Love : love without need of sex, beauty,anything physical or material, expecting nothing in return.

ok, so if that is true love, what actually is love ?. well i am not talking about a mothers love for a child, nor am i talking about a brothers love for a sister. I am talking about THE LOVE between two individuals who are apperant strangers, i.e. not have any relation between them!. Is not love meant to mean the same ? is it not wanting to be there for another person, despite anything?? then how come the word true love was coined in the first place, if just the word 'love' could suffice it all??

I gather this. Humanity's greed and stupidity have known no limits through out its history, and they are not showing any signs of being tamed. And, in this case, stupidity i guess was the sole reason that a whole new term had to be coined just to indicate how superficial the world has become. Calling the lust and attraction as love was and is still stupid, and then coining a new word to indicate the higher dimensions of human emotion of so called love, was even sillier!!

Why all this nonsense ?

Well!! Jo, a friend of mine suggested that i write up a piece about how true love rarely exists in todays world, with all those men and women falling for each other and then breaking up to only fall again for someone else quicker than earlier. so I wanted to talk about how true love is no more than a word today, but then my mind started wondering why was such a word coined in the first place, and hence all that might have bored you till now.

I guess the problem lies with the generation that does not really know what love means until they really feel it. Probably no one ever did know the real meaning, before hand.

But what I am trying to say is, the parameters (as i call them) , or features (as what many others call them) that most people look for in a lover are quite limited;If not everytime, Most often. and here i quote what many of men and women want from thier lovers.

P.S. :- the number is limited to the number of friends i possess.

What women are looking for in men ?
These are the most repeated qualities that women see for in a man.
~ understanding
~ broad mindedness
~ good sense of humour
~ caring
~ Physical features , as tall and handsome (only as add ons.)

What Men are looking for in women ?
These are just simple
Most men are just glad that there is someone who loves them. They dont look forward to other features that she might or might not have!! But here are a few that are often wanted but only rarely quoted
~Beautiful
~Faithful
~Humour
~Intelligence (hmm.. not many ask for that.)
~Broad minded (we'll talk about this later.)

I can say that girls fall easily for a guy who has most , if not all the qualities in a man!. Then they are deeply in love (?) with a guy who seems to understand them and cares about them. But slowly the negative features also turn out. Guys, natural flirts, are most often not satisfied with what we have. And on the other end of the spectrum, we tend to be over possessive of what we have, a seemingly good relation with a person that loves you. And these two are mostly the reasons why we have so many break ups in this era. Which simply irritates me.

So why call it love, when what we are actually doing is waiting for an oppurtunity to break up with your so called love on. Why call it love when all you know about the other person seems to be only a tiny percentage of what you should have known ? why call it just love, when there is no love!!

take it from the west you guys, call it dating. If you think dating results in sex, then please call it something else but not love. Get to know the other person inside out, or atleast until you are sure that the other person not only has what you love, but also does not have what you hate. Please be patient before announcing your love to the world. And hell, if or when you fail to go the distance with your so called love one, Also know that the world is not full of morons.

all that i have said above, results from what i have experienced and known from friends and friends of friends. so what i am talking about is applicable mostly to the young adults who are experimenting with their new found freedom in the world. People who want to experience it all like there is no tomorrow. But there is one, and there will be one till the end of your life. So I want to finish this off by quoting myself again.

"Dont love a person just because he/she has the qualities you love, but also take your time to be sure that he/she doesnt have those features that you hate"

boys don't cry

2006-04-22T10:47:00.000-07:00

Men are wicked accepted..
Men are pervert accepted..
Men are rapist taken...

But Why are they so??

Are they bad to everybody? or the animal inside them wakes up only against females?
Probably a female will have an answer to this but...if the later is true then one dont have to be a genealogist to say that these qualities are not genetic..And there are far too many heinous examples to sideline the phenomenon as isolated exception..

So men must have inherited these qualities from the society..

I don't know any rapist personally that I can talk about..so I will keep my discussion to noramal males and their psyche..

In India a child born in a decent family generally is more focussed about his career than anything else..So even a boy remains more or less isolated from the bad company when in school....Boys by nature don't like sharing too much with there parents..so talking about the word sex at home is a far of proposition!!!

But things change when he gets into college... there he gets his first lesson of sex-education..He is suddenly exposed to porns and vulgarity..The ultra sensored vocabulary gets into his day 2 day tongue..Initially he feels guilty.. but then he's pretty ok with that..
There is nothing very much wrong with it.. but ya one got to have better ways of educating kids..

There is one more story to tell..well the topic is debatable but the fact is that when u r in skool you have nearly 50/50 male female ratio.. but when u reach college (sp Engineering)... well it dips drastically..(my batch had 15 girls and 380 guys!!)..So when a teen is growing into an adult the only people he interacts with are his male friends..who are in the same boat as he himself..Four years in college and comes a youth equipped with all the technical knowledge to put into productivity..But yet not at all ready to fit into the social world...

Mine would be an extreme case but somebody in this very blog wrote about an incident of trying to introduce himself to a passerby girl..just to prove a point or two..and I bet he's not the only one in the world who has done that...What does this reflect??..Nothing but the fact that even for a metrosexual male..its an achievent to talk to females..

There is no excuse and I am not in a mood to sypathise but... people can give respect to those who they know.. but our Indian males don't get a decent talk with the other kind of human breed.....No wonder if few of them turn into perverts..

Circle goes on.. females don't like interacting with males coz they are perverts and male turn perverts coz lack of friends in the fairer sex...Its a sad tale that only females end up as victims....
Earlier the debate was man and woman cannot be good friends..now the dictum is man and woman should not be good friends..
Probably the only solution to this problem would be to break this ever widening distance

silent tears...

2006-03-21T23:11:00.000-08:00

Always wanted to talk about this..but never did..
Always wanted to complain 'bout this..but never did..
Always wanted to give a voice to these thoughts..But neva did...

Then why now?
After seeing this post by TEALThe fairer Sex, cudn't help breaking the silence..
It left me with burning rage,left me infuriated..
Such topics always Bring back al' those bad memories which wer pushed into the dungeon of darkness..
Bring back those memories of silent tears and burning helplessness...
Bring back the memories of dat night when al of us girls cuddled up in a room to share the worst times of their lives.
We were stunned to know dat all of us shared similar experiences..not even a single girl is spared..
jus becoz we don't talk 'bout it doesn't mean we've never been subjected to it. Truth is, we've simply chosen to shut up and grit our teeth.

You expect to confront harrassment everywhere...in crowded buses,in theatres,at office ,on roads,in public places and even at the place of refugee..yer own house!!
(shocked?? don't be)..
My first lesson ws delivered at my own place..My parents left to an other city and asked one of mah cousins to accompany us(bro nd me) dat night...If strangers touching you is bad, then what is worse is when someone you know, someone your family trusts, gropes you..What ws he looking for?Dammit! i ws jus 12 years old..I was shocked to death!! Kept crying on my pillow till the dawn.. ws shivering and shaking the whole night..silently saying "mom come back home".
Got up eyes swollen nd completely frightened..Could only tell my 14 yr ol'brother to send him away ..How could i have explained to him what i have gone through, dat night..I can recall the tears and more importantly how i shaked non-stop for a while.
why didn't my mom ever tell me that it was wrong even for my cousins to touch me.
U don't even know what to tell your mother about your cousin and stay quiet. Why? I guess I was too ashamed....now in retrospect, I see I wasn't the one who had to be ashamed but its too late to scream or shout!!..

Should I talk about the time when mah frend was felt up first by her sister's father-in-law?Or 'bout the time wen an other friend of mine was walking on the road and suddenly this auto driver flashes his dirty crotch nd grabs her?
Or even worst tel u about the 8th standard boy whu flashes his organ nd asks my frend to taste it!!Fuck guys!! give us a break!!
There were these and many more vague incidents of flashing, being leched at, commented on...and having strange hands feeling me up in crowded buses.Endless grunts, endless stern looks at those bastards and endless fears.God alone save the species called women frm those demonic perverts!!

You can't always swear nd shake thez creeps off...u can't always walk with clenched fists...u can't always try defending yerself from thez slithering reptiles..

It took me many many days to trust Men again.Not dat i trust evryone now but have some special ppl in life..But even today i shudder when a car slows down on a deserted road,even now i shudder wen some stranger smiles at me.
And i refuse to belive dat all male bloggers are not involved in street harassment
HATE AL THOSE MEN whu shame us into burning helplessness..I don't want to be protected by a man. No man needs to feel responsible for me. I don't want to be left out just cos am someone's daughter,sister or wife.I don't want al thez restrictions on us because of u guys..I don't want to miss the fun of taking strolls at any hour of night.

The day wen a teenage girl can walk on the roads without clamping the folder in her hand to her chest to avoid dirty looks then i say India can celebrate FREEDOM.
and yea it took me some courage to write tis and NO, am not asking for yer sympathy!!

Whats the right time?

2006-03-19T12:06:00.000-08:00

This is for all the women out there. and few of the men too. Why the hell do people get married (or rather "married off" is a word most often used in case of women.) by the age of 21 or some even when they are younger. The legal age limit may be 18 for women and 21 for men. But that doesnt mean you should go and marry the next person you see after the legal limit. THINK A LITTLE.

I am not saying that every person gets married immediatley after his/her education. But seeing two of my classmates(a guy and a girl. but not to each other :p ) getting married in the last six months, I am beginning to have my doubts. Most parents want to 'marry off' thier children as soon as they can. They think it is a burden that they can no longer hold, any longer after thier child graduates. But why, the hell, cant they realise that raising a child for 21years is a good job in itself. and let them make thier own decisions from then on!!

Ok i do agree that parents are ready to feed thier male children to a longer period when compared to a female child. They want to see them get married in a hurry!Hence the misery!! But why dont people realise that they actually have a say in things that are happening to them. When i question a few of my friends as to why women act this way, they say it is mostly because of the pressure from the family. I ask them why;they ask me what other choice do they have than to go with the family? We cant live without them!!

well if u call, 'living the rest of your life taking blow after blow which shatters your self-confidence, your personal freedom, your independance (Social and Financial)', as the only frigging choice you have got, then i guess i have news for you. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THAT. oh why on this god damned world would you do something as insanely stupid as this knowing fully and expecting all of the consequences!!! If you are forced to choose, choose to be independant. Choose to have a say in your own life. Choose to have a life that is not bonded. Choose to be yourself!!!

And if you are a guy, please read through these following lines. Marrying a woman will not help you settle down no matter whatever your parents say. it will only increase the responsibility on your shoulders. should you choose to "settle down" please be sure that u can, not only feed yourself, but also another person that is going to spend the rest of the life with you. And if you are not sure you can do that, but still wanna get married, lose some ego and let the woman be independant. the preceding statement goes for everyone. Let your woman be independant. We may not have recieved the right kind of signals from the preceding generations about how relationships work, but let us try to be different. let us try to bring the equality that we so crave for when it comes to other matters. There was this friend who was asking me, why do good people, doing many good deeds in many fields, do not understand women, and are horrible towards them, knowingly or unknowingly? the answer that we came up was ego. lose some of it and both of you can live without the bitching which can last a lifetime.

so what is the right time to marry you ask ? well it is the time when u feel that you can be by yourself no matter what the future can throw at you. It is when you feel that everything is falling into place, except for that one last hole that hasnt yet filled up. It is when u realise that you are ready. Not when you are told you are, But when YOU REALISE THAT YOU ARE!

Please Think about what i said a little. Its not something impulsive, but something that i think abt a lot...
P.S. I am not a feminist. I just believe in equality.

Challenging Status Quo

2006-02-04T01:12:00.000-08:00

Sounds like a fun thing to do. And many of us would even do it, IF (a big one at it) someone has already done it. Ready to follow, but never ready to take the lead. I admit it, I am one of you, waiting for something to happen. Rather thinking of doing something, than doing anything at all.If you are wondering why did I turn out to be conscious about the society, weird as it may seem, it is because of Rang De Basanti.

This is what happened while returning home after watching RDB. Knowing better than what I was saying, I still asked my friend "Do you think the movie might have inspired anyone?" and his answer was something that I already knew, but still made me think about other stuff related to that. He said "Repu snanam chesentha varaku untundi ra, snanam chesinappudu aa muriki tho patu ee feeling kooda neellatho kalisi drainage lo kalisi pothundi.!" (for those who dont know telugu, he said "Till they take bath tomorrow. and when they do take a bath, goes down the drain with the water..".)

Simply put, A new day, A new thought process. We forget the goals that we do set for ourselves the previous day and live out our lives in the present. I might seem like a fool quoting the example of a movie inspiring anyone, But it is only a metaphor of things that are happening today. Hmm.. lemme rephrase that. This is what is and has been happening in INDIA right from pre-independance days. Just look at the martyrs who gave their lives to change the fate of our country. But can one believe that it was only 15 years or more after the death of Bhagat singh that we actually got our freedom. If it took so long for us to quantify the dreams of our martyrs, what can one expect of a simple film?.

Another example of the present day attitude towards challenging the status quo was evident when an ex-student from the IIM lucknow (manjunath) was killed for doing his job. A movie might show students reacting agressively when 4 students are killed by the government,for committing a "crime". but what about this guy who did nothing wrong.It is true that a few voices were heard , most of them from his peers and their related institutions.But what has been done to ensure that this kind of incident will never happen again ?

Its not like I am perfect and I am preaching something that must be done to save our country. But I do question things that I dont like to do. I only wish I was more courageous to do something more than what I am doing right now. On retrospect, We need not be courageous, but doing the right thing, rather than doing the correct thing can be enough.

Older generations were ok with it, Let us not be the same.

A perfect life vs a happy life

2006-01-15T14:13:00.000-08:00

Sashank said...

It’s about time you had everyone focus entirely on you. You are the center of attraction. Life is you. People can only dream to be like you. You get everything you want. Life is controlled by you. Your whims and fancies are fulfilled instantly. What you want, you get it without having to do anything for it.

Imagine this way, you are a magician, what you dream of, you get it. “I wanna be the most handsome person in this world”…tada..you are. You wanna marry the most beautiful, most witty girl…boom..its done. You wanna hog the limelight…done.
You can also get something which has never existed, what people have never seen. Imagine it…you get it. Maybe you would call that a perfect life.

To me there’s no satisfaction in getting things done unless I have worked for it. I don’t have to be born rich, cos I will work my way to be rich. I don’t have to be popular from birth; I will be one day be with what I do. I wanna achieve it with my hard work, my diligence, my determination.

When I was in school, I used to think and pray to god, “I will close my eyes and when I open them, I hope my record is complete”, “why do I have to go through this misery, why can’t I get a magic pencil which will do the job for me”. Sitting up late in the night, getting up early, tormenting myself (I love to sleep in the morning), I would somehow complete it. Guess my feeling when I finally completed the record. (I don’t have to tell that right).

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for. What’s the use in building a titanic and just displaying it? Come on, if you’re not living life on the edge, you are taking up too much space. I for sure don’t want the life described in the first two paragraphs.

~An ass……a smart ass called Sashank

p.s: Freak-Y said...
@sashank
first have to give a "hats off" on a great comment. but in all fairness u are talking abt a happy life, and me about a perfect one.. hope u see the difference :)

3:31 AM

At this point of time i have to mention about this guy sashank. He is a brilliant, yet a lazy friend,(infact one of the best).. and damn he is overshadowing my writing. Even I think that his last two "comments" are better than my last post. just check out my other blog
http://freak-y.blogspot.com and u know what i mean. damn this guy is good, and i promise you sashank. within 24 hrs you are dead meat.You just kick started me engine boy, be careful.. be very careful..

Man V/s Woman

2006-01-14T02:27:00.000-08:00

This is probably one of the most fought out debate of the last century. Who is better? Men or Women?? The problem is not many people can be clear minded when debating over this topic. They are prejudiced by the feeling of produness of being a man or a woman.

Male chauvanists believe that men are better and women should not be treated as equals. That we men are better than any woman that ever was. Truth is that we are not. Can we be as patient as mother theresa towards the downtrodden ? can we substitute the love that a mother gives us? hell can a guy surpass the beauty of cleopatra or helen :P ?? there are somethings that women are better at and we should accept that.

And then there are women. Right from the time that they have begun the women's rights moment, they believe that they can do whatever a man can do and do it better. This is as bad as the examples I gave above, or sometimes even worse because they claim to be fighting for the equality of the sexes, where infact what they are doing is abashing the male kind. If this trend continues, who knows there might be a day for men's rights moment ;)

But the only point I want to make is, One gender isnt better than the other. We are different. evolution and society took care of that. There are some things at which the men are better and at other stuff the women. And also being the best in any field doesnt have to do with what sex you belong to. i.e. there might be some women better than some men and vice versa. But it can never be all women are better than all men, or the other way round.

So I am ok with this following observation, "Men or Women are not better than thier opposite sex. We are simply different from them. and there will always be a few from the other side who will be better than us. And we have to live with it"

So who is with me ??

On Independence of thought By rohini

2006-01-02T13:23:00.000-08:00

well..individuality can be the sole reason for creativity..but dat can even lead to despicable acts..creativity not necessarily, is used to give fructuous results....It is the Thought that changes the world..WE r wot our thots hav made us...wordz r secondary...thots live,teh travel far...coming to the freedom of thot...wot is freedom of thot??can i cal it freedom of conscience?..i ain't opposing the freedom of an individual to hold a viewpoint regardless of anyone else's...u have every rite..buh how well r u using yer freedom of thot...u say something offensive....write something provocative...which may directly or indirectly offend many groups in the society...y do u think freedom of thot is limited by means of censorship...bookburning..nd more subtly by propaganda?...lemme further condense it nd ask u a simple question ..wot is right? nd wot is wrong?...perceptions differ rite?...wot is wrong to u may seem right to others..views differ...so does the thought...it is then the freedom of thot is stifled when the views of the majority become so widely accepted that other ways of thinking are repressed...u cal it a hurdle to progress...i don't totally agree on tis..u come up with insidious ideas nd wen ppl try to judge them nd supress such harmful thots..u still think limiting freedom of thot in tis context is an act of supression?

Hope u dont mind me posting it here ron, liked what i saw :)

Independence of thought

2005-12-07T11:54:00.000-08:00

Human Thought -- One of the few things in this world that has never been under anybody's control , except ofcourse under the control of the mind it has originated from.Thinking ofcourse is what makes us decide what we want to do.This independence of thought is what makes us different from the next person.This is what has driven us all through history of humanity. This is what has defined the very term "HUMAN".

But what happens when such thoughts are curtailed? What happens when the independence is no longer a luxury one cannot afford? What happens if what makes you is decided by others ? When do YOU die and the shell u leave behind is run by others around you ?

Yeah , sometimes there is a need for others to say what is the right thing to do.After all , independent , though we may be mentally, we are all dependent on others around us to survive.And hence there are rules , dictated by the collective good.

What i like to discuss is what happens when Individuality is surpressed.
I say individuality is the sole reason behind creativity, which in turn is the root of innovation and hence development. When individuality is supressed, what we are doing to ourselves is setting back humanity by impeding development.

But as i stated above, there are times when one's freedom has to be limited.This in the long run, as i said , will slow down progress of humanity.Therefore, the only way that humanity can reach its maximum potential , I feel is when it reaches a position where no matter what happens, Individual independence is maintained. In other words freedom @ whatever the cost.

I'd like to know others point of view also..