boys don't cry

Men are wicked accepted..
Men are pervert accepted..
Men are rapist taken...

But Why are they so??

Are they bad to everybody? or the animal inside them wakes up only against females?
Probably a female will have an answer to this but...if the later is true then one dont have to be a genealogist to say that these qualities are not genetic..And there are far too many heinous examples to sideline the phenomenon as isolated exception..

So men must have inherited these qualities from the society..

I don't know any rapist personally that I can talk about..so I will keep my discussion to noramal males and their psyche..

In India a child born in a decent family generally is more focussed about his career than anything else..So even a boy remains more or less isolated from the bad company when in school....Boys by nature don't like sharing too much with there parents..so talking about the word sex at home is a far of proposition!!!

But things change when he gets into college... there he gets his first lesson of sex-education..He is suddenly exposed to porns and vulgarity..The ultra sensored vocabulary gets into his day 2 day tongue..Initially he feels guilty.. but then he's pretty ok with that..
There is nothing very much wrong with it.. but ya one got to have better ways of educating kids..

There is one more story to tell..well the topic is debatable but the fact is that when u r in skool you have nearly 50/50 male female ratio.. but when u reach college (sp Engineering)... well it dips drastically..(my batch had 15 girls and 380 guys!!)..So when a teen is growing into an adult the only people he interacts with are his male friends..who are in the same boat as he himself..Four years in college and comes a youth equipped with all the technical knowledge to put into productivity..But yet not at all ready to fit into the social world...

Mine would be an extreme case but somebody in this very blog wrote about an incident of trying to introduce himself to a passerby girl..just to prove a point or two..and I bet he's not the only one in the world who has done that...What does this reflect??..Nothing but the fact that even for a metrosexual male..its an achievent to talk to females..

There is no excuse and I am not in a mood to sypathise but... people can give respect to those who they know.. but our Indian males don't get a decent talk with the other kind of human breed.....No wonder if few of them turn into perverts..

Circle goes on.. females don't like interacting with males coz they are perverts and male turn perverts coz lack of friends in the fairer sex...Its a sad tale that only females end up as victims....
Earlier the debate was man and woman cannot be good friends..now the dictum is man and woman should not be good friends..
Probably the only solution to this problem would be to break this ever widening distance

Comments

XmPt said…
first of all, welcome and then lemme congratulate u on a good post :)

yeah the circle does go on, but then there might be an arguement, why do only guys turn out to be perverts, when the interaction or the lack of it should have an equal effect on either of the sexes..

and then the counter point could be the numbers u quoted hmm.. i am in a dilemma now
jitesh said…
Guys, good,bad or ugly are always available in plenty :) don't they..its easier for girls to pick and chose frm them... guys on the other hand don't have that attractive option:)
Kk said…
I'm not sure if I'd agree to the idea that men turn that way coz of sudden exposure to porn n stuff or there are sudden drop in the number of girl-classmates. But I do agree with the last para that with proper company ., esp with the 'fairer sex'., guys can learn to respect women and also can see them at diff view than as just partners 4 sex.
Anonymous said…
Good post!!I think porn stuff or less girl-classmates were quoted just as examples..The central idea conveyed was the false image that each sex develops about the opp sex which certainly is an outcome of lack of interaction..I personally have noticed my classmates who intitially always use to stare below my neck..later became my good friends..It was coz we had a healthy talk when we were forced to work in a project together..They later considered me the person to share their problems and happiness rather an item for their midnight fantasy..

Cheers
---Shruti Mathur
Teal™ said…
I second KK's views. Wat is to be made of childhood days when gals and boys used to play just the same without any kind of cruel intentions?? A few years down the line everything changes is it? An wat is to be made of the guys who have sisters at home? Now such ppl cannot claim the "lack of communication" excuse! They shud befriend gals just like the way they befriend guys, because frankly i donot discriminate genders between the way i treat my friends.
Anonymous said…
Got here from Teal's shoutbox and let me tell ya.. i don't quite agree.

All that stuff which you mentioned as guys learning in college happened to me in school. Drinking, smoking, porn, bad words et al. But still, I always had that element called 'respect' for the opposite sex. akka thangachi ilana kooda varum.

Guys have to understand that they don't have to act smart to impress a girl. All that they have to do it be themselves. Okay, are guys matured enough? No!

Whom do we blame this on? The relationship between a guy and a girl gets disconnected between that 7th to 11/12th class. Forget about playing together with eachother at kindergarten; does school/parents encourage the same when the kids grow up? They don't! ...and i guess, this might probably be one of the reason for guys trying to act smart with girls which ends up as.....

Men are wicked accepted..
Men are pervert accepted..
Men are rapist taken...
jitesh said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jitesh said…
well frnds..all of u are correct to some extent.
However its not about WHAT men should do?but WHY are they not doing what they should do?

Second even if I talk abt the shoulds.. I am sure if I understood the point of boys treating girls same way as they treat other boys.An't they naturally different?..Even at kindergarten u can see boy and girls forming separate play groups.I daily see this at one opposite 2 my house and call it Indo-Pak :)...Its only during teen and adult phase that they develop attraction towards each other..but still they have very different nature..
so is it not about understanding this difference and respecting it???

Its like when u can't get grapes most of us(including me) say grapes are sour and live life merrily which is a very good philosophy..
but there may be few who would even distroy the garden when they don't get grapes...we call them rapist..Just can't think How can be someone such an animal..
Unknown said…
@the author
even if i choose to agree that guys have an excuse (if not a reason) for not treating the opposite sex with respect, i can't find an excuse to offer for not 'growing up' from that stupidity? any way, i do not subscribe to your view that men behave that way because they were never told and taught.

welcome to the real INDIA where 'marital rape' is more common than any other form of sexual abuse. a woman might not expect the whole masculine world to rationalise and polish its sexual behaviour, but she sure expects the one man that she is spending the rest of her life with to be sensitive to her preferences and her feelings. but an average indian male thinks that sex is his marital right and his wife's marital duty.

and come on, if being deprived of proper rapport with people from the fairer sex is your excuse, you have this woman that stays with you day in and day out. what better rapport with the opposite sex can you ask for? if she says that she is unhappy with your sexual behaviour, first of all, it is your rationale and not your ego that should be listening. and if your rationale still suggests that you suspect her having an illicit extra-marital affair, you have a serious mental problem.
(the word 'you' in the above paragraph has nothing to do with the author!)

if you(okay! it is the author now.) still tell me that this is all due to the conditioning and mental programming that you were talking about, i can only lift my hands up in the air and shout, "okay! i surrender!"

@pavan (goda)
maavaa! ikkada aedainaa post padithe, naaku koodaa oka alert kottu. maree ikkada post lu cheyyaka poyinaa, ilaa comment lu raasi pothaanu.[:P]
Anonymous said…
Put it this way, everyone goes through a learning experience , starts with being awkward talking to girls to getting comfortable..We learn from experiences, guys r not perverets, they become men as they grow..

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